Okay, where to begin…FIRST, I never intended to be the once a month type of blogger. I’m just super busy lately for obvious reasons.
Lyndsey had her TENTH birthday on Nov 5th I seriously can’t believe my little angel is ten years old. I look at her beautiful face and I wonder how I got so lucky as to have a child so beautiful, not to mention absolutely sweet and caring.
So November has been pretty eventful really, the week after Lyndsey’s Bday I went to visit Brent in NJ. We went to New York and Pennsylvania too for some touristy stuff. It is beautiful in the northeast, but I’m not a fan of that much rain or paying to drive on the highways (stupid tolls). My favorite part was Tiffany & CO and Serendipity in NYC on the same day! Jewelry and chocolate in the company of my loving husband…what more could a girl ask for?
I’m super happy to have my mom back in Arizona, with everything going on and a new “on call” schedule at work, I haven’t been able to spend as much time with her as I would have liked but it is still nice knowing she is close by.
Brent is in Kuwait now, and will be going on to “another place” within a few days. With the holidays here now, depression has officially set in for me. I cry at the drop of a hat, and I want nothing more than to have him home. The girls are really emotional too right now. It’s just sad. I literally sleep with my cell phone since I work nights and he is 10 hours a head he is usually calling when I’m a couple hours into my sleep for the day. When the girls are home and I’m sleeping I put them on “phone watch” so that we don’t miss his calls…since we never know when the next one will be.
Thanksgiving came & went….my sister Jodi came in town and it was nice to catch up with her. We did the black Friday crazy women shopping deal, and went at midnight when the malls opened. We finished up at Walmart and where headed home Friday morning by 0525. It was a long night, but we got some great deals.
I guess that is all I can think of right now…well except for Jessica our nanny is leaving us. Things just didn’t work out the way we had hoped, the girls and I will miss having her around…and wish her the best of luck.
Happy Holidays
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Okay, so things have been so busy—yeah yeah, typical Jill phrase I know.
Seriously though, I’m just going bananas. I’m still in the phase where it’s easier to be grumpy than sad; and I’m sure it is getting really old to the people around me. I’d apologize, but I’m not ready to change it quite yet…so stay tuned.
Daddy Fisk has been super busy this week with training, and although I got a warning it would be like this from here on out, it’s not easy. The only time I get to talk to him is a few minutes at night—and well, H-E-L-L-O I work nights. So I rush outside to take a break and talk for a few minutes but being that we have to keep it so short there is no REAL talk. It’s wearing me down.
Enough whining though right…I promise I’m not ALWAYS a downer. So the good news is that the Army issued them a four day pass which means, I’ll get to go see him for four days next month!! I’m super excited, we plan on going to NYC and Philadelphia to see some touristy stuff, it should be fun. AND I’m excited that I get a “do over” since I spent the last pass in GRUMP mode!!! I’m sure you wanted to know…but I’m mostly looking forward to spooning—it is by far the most secure feeling ever. I can’t even explain it… so cherish your spooning time. The funny thing is he always says I pose him like a Ken doll!!! So hilarious (so Brent)…deep down I’m sure he likes it too.
Another good thing is that my mom is moving back to AZ from Colorado!! YEAH, we are excited to have her back in town; I think Lyndsey almost cried from excitement.
Oh…we did the ward trunk or treat last night it was fun, Brent’s parents had the girls so they weren’t there (they went to another Halloween function), but I did borrow a few other kids for a little bit so I didn’t look like a freak being there childless. For Halloween this year Lyndsey is a clown and Reilly is an angel with a crown and a wand, odd really—I know, but she was set on all three and I have learned to choose my battles. On the way to the church, Reilly was telling me that she didn’t have a dad now, so I spent about five minutes explaining to her that YES, she does have a daddy—he is just away for a while. Man was that hard.
Okay okay I really do have some family pictures to put on here and I will get them off the camera as soon as I figure out how but for now I figure Maxine and I think enough alike that I wouldn’t be totally off by adding a picture of her.
Seriously though, I’m just going bananas. I’m still in the phase where it’s easier to be grumpy than sad; and I’m sure it is getting really old to the people around me. I’d apologize, but I’m not ready to change it quite yet…so stay tuned.
Daddy Fisk has been super busy this week with training, and although I got a warning it would be like this from here on out, it’s not easy. The only time I get to talk to him is a few minutes at night—and well, H-E-L-L-O I work nights. So I rush outside to take a break and talk for a few minutes but being that we have to keep it so short there is no REAL talk. It’s wearing me down.
Enough whining though right…I promise I’m not ALWAYS a downer. So the good news is that the Army issued them a four day pass which means, I’ll get to go see him for four days next month!! I’m super excited, we plan on going to NYC and Philadelphia to see some touristy stuff, it should be fun. AND I’m excited that I get a “do over” since I spent the last pass in GRUMP mode!!! I’m sure you wanted to know…but I’m mostly looking forward to spooning—it is by far the most secure feeling ever. I can’t even explain it… so cherish your spooning time. The funny thing is he always says I pose him like a Ken doll!!! So hilarious (so Brent)…deep down I’m sure he likes it too.
Another good thing is that my mom is moving back to AZ from Colorado!! YEAH, we are excited to have her back in town; I think Lyndsey almost cried from excitement.
Oh…we did the ward trunk or treat last night it was fun, Brent’s parents had the girls so they weren’t there (they went to another Halloween function), but I did borrow a few other kids for a little bit so I didn’t look like a freak being there childless. For Halloween this year Lyndsey is a clown and Reilly is an angel with a crown and a wand, odd really—I know, but she was set on all three and I have learned to choose my battles. On the way to the church, Reilly was telling me that she didn’t have a dad now, so I spent about five minutes explaining to her that YES, she does have a daddy—he is just away for a while. Man was that hard.
Okay okay I really do have some family pictures to put on here and I will get them off the camera as soon as I figure out how but for now I figure Maxine and I think enough alike that I wouldn’t be totally off by adding a picture of her.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The "See ya soon"
Things have been so chaotic lately, and to be honest I’m just plum tuckered out.
I’ve been trying to keep positive but it’s proving to be harder than I had originally thought. Here is a recap of recent events.
So, Daddy Fisk had been training in Florence for a couple weeks as originally planned since he went on orders (working for Army full time) on September 2nd. During that time we got to talk to him most every night, and when we didn’t we would get a text saying he was too tired to talk but, he would send his love nonetheless. His unit had decided sometime ago that they were not going to be giving passes (days off) after they had left AZ to MOB (mobilize). So, they gave him a four day pass where he had absolutely NO ARMY stuff to do between that training and actually leaving. I can’t even tell you how much I loved that… but loving it didn’t make it easy by any means.
He has been gone so much lately that I had become comfortable with my own routine that Jessica (nanny) and I had come up with. So, while I was beyond excited to spend time with him, it was awkward just a teeny bit…because well; anyone who knows him knows that he too is set in his ways and he takes the whole “a man’s home is his castle” thing to an extreme. Which I normally don’t mind, in fact I take pride in trying to please him in that. Just not right now.
With all of the recent training and pending deployment Brent had a friend that didn’t have a place to stay; so he stayed with us until they left (we wouldn’t even think of letting him live at the armory). Hiner is a super cool guy who can make you laugh at anything. So…I’m thankful he was here to lighten the mood around the house. HOWEVER, with another testosterone driven, war bound male in the house, I was about to go INSANE.
My point of view:
I’m sending my husband off to war, my children are emotional to say the least. I’ve been preparing for some time, however I don’t care to talk about blowing things up, killing things, watching war movies (I’ve always hated them), talking about the last time they went to war, FOBBITS (higher rank leaders who do nothing) and so on all day long. IN FACT…I find it detrimental to the cause and my mental state.
Their point of view:
This is cool stuff, let’s blow things up…Praise the Lord & pass the ammunition!
Their view + My View= GRUMPY ME
My point in all of this is that, with everything going on I was a complete grump for probably three and a half of the four days he got to be home. I didn’t want to be reminded that he was leaving, I just wanted my old routine back and a sense of normalcy, but that didn’t happen. I just feel like my world has been turned upside down. Daddy Fisk kindly reminded me that those days could be the last that I ever see him and that I should lighten up…but even knowing that, I couldn’t. I just find it easier to be MAD than SAD. I’m less vulnerable that way, and it’s easier to cope (I tried to snap out of it…but literally, couldn’t).
OMG…this post is forever long.
Okay, so on Friday there was the farewell ceremony in the morning, and that night they had to return at 2330, but we got to stay with him until about 0200 when they finally kicked us out of the armory (we were one of the last families there). The girls were hanging on his legs and holding him tight for the hours we were there. It is the most heart breaking thing ever. It was eerily quiet as we started out the doors, when Reilly stopped and yelled “DADDY!”
Brent turned around (as did most other men)
Rei: “Call us every day…okay?”
“I’ll try” he replied.
We kept walking.
I didn’t cry there…I got teary eyed on my way home. But, it wasn’t until Saturday morning that it HIT ME like a ton of bricks. I’m not going to see my husband for 400 days. Say it with me…FOUR h-u-n-d-r-e-d days.
I’ve been crying since.
I’ve been trying to keep positive but it’s proving to be harder than I had originally thought. Here is a recap of recent events.
So, Daddy Fisk had been training in Florence for a couple weeks as originally planned since he went on orders (working for Army full time) on September 2nd. During that time we got to talk to him most every night, and when we didn’t we would get a text saying he was too tired to talk but, he would send his love nonetheless. His unit had decided sometime ago that they were not going to be giving passes (days off) after they had left AZ to MOB (mobilize). So, they gave him a four day pass where he had absolutely NO ARMY stuff to do between that training and actually leaving. I can’t even tell you how much I loved that… but loving it didn’t make it easy by any means.
He has been gone so much lately that I had become comfortable with my own routine that Jessica (nanny) and I had come up with. So, while I was beyond excited to spend time with him, it was awkward just a teeny bit…because well; anyone who knows him knows that he too is set in his ways and he takes the whole “a man’s home is his castle” thing to an extreme. Which I normally don’t mind, in fact I take pride in trying to please him in that. Just not right now.
With all of the recent training and pending deployment Brent had a friend that didn’t have a place to stay; so he stayed with us until they left (we wouldn’t even think of letting him live at the armory). Hiner is a super cool guy who can make you laugh at anything. So…I’m thankful he was here to lighten the mood around the house. HOWEVER, with another testosterone driven, war bound male in the house, I was about to go INSANE.
My point of view:
I’m sending my husband off to war, my children are emotional to say the least. I’ve been preparing for some time, however I don’t care to talk about blowing things up, killing things, watching war movies (I’ve always hated them), talking about the last time they went to war, FOBBITS (higher rank leaders who do nothing) and so on all day long. IN FACT…I find it detrimental to the cause and my mental state.
Their point of view:
This is cool stuff, let’s blow things up…Praise the Lord & pass the ammunition!
Their view + My View= GRUMPY ME
My point in all of this is that, with everything going on I was a complete grump for probably three and a half of the four days he got to be home. I didn’t want to be reminded that he was leaving, I just wanted my old routine back and a sense of normalcy, but that didn’t happen. I just feel like my world has been turned upside down. Daddy Fisk kindly reminded me that those days could be the last that I ever see him and that I should lighten up…but even knowing that, I couldn’t. I just find it easier to be MAD than SAD. I’m less vulnerable that way, and it’s easier to cope (I tried to snap out of it…but literally, couldn’t).
OMG…this post is forever long.
Okay, so on Friday there was the farewell ceremony in the morning, and that night they had to return at 2330, but we got to stay with him until about 0200 when they finally kicked us out of the armory (we were one of the last families there). The girls were hanging on his legs and holding him tight for the hours we were there. It is the most heart breaking thing ever. It was eerily quiet as we started out the doors, when Reilly stopped and yelled “DADDY!”
Brent turned around (as did most other men)
Rei: “Call us every day…okay?”
“I’ll try” he replied.
We kept walking.
I didn’t cry there…I got teary eyed on my way home. But, it wasn’t until Saturday morning that it HIT ME like a ton of bricks. I’m not going to see my husband for 400 days. Say it with me…FOUR h-u-n-d-r-e-d days.
I’ve been crying since.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
prepared...not prepared
Today I realized that no matter how much mental preparation I think I have done that waking up on day 1 of 400 without my husband is the most empty - rip your heart out feeling ever. I just hate this. Today I'm also not so sure I can do this, but then again who am I kidding...I don't have a choice.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Stayin' Alive
Okay, so we are playing pass the germ game again. Reilly has been sick on & off since Friday morning. Today though, she was feeling better so I sent her to school. When I picked her up she seemed her normal self, but quickly became her normal-grumpy self once we got home (she is very tired after school). She was particularly excited about today because Brent’s parents (mammy & bobby) were going to pick her up, and take her to celebrate her birthday (She turned 5 last Thursday) by doing dinner and some other fun grandparent-ish type of stuff. They also kept one present at their house for her to open today…so she was really stoked to go!
Anyway, long story short, when mammy Fisk got to the house to pick up the girls Reilly was curled in the fetal with a blanket saying that she was FREEZING. So, I took her temperature, it was 99.3 so I knew she was sick. Sadly, she just wasn’t feeling up to going so Lyndsey (my sweet angel) went with mammy anyway for some much needed bonding time. No worries, Reilly will get her special day when she is feeling better.
Okay, I’m really trying to be short here… I HAD to drop something off at the armory for daddy Fisk today, so after the big girls left, I scooped Reilly up and put her in the car, and headed out, she puked 5 minutes into the ride. By the time we got back to the house her fever was 102.3 and I was trying to convince her to take some medicine (she HATES medicine more than any kid I know). She wanted me to hold her, so I told her I would hold her if she took the medicine, but otherwise I would put her down.
While holding her and trying to get her to take the Motrin I had premeasured in hand, she just started to sob. I was puzzled, why now? What has got her UPSET now? She then blurts out (in a sobbing-sickly voice) "I JUST WANT TO STAY ALIVE!"
I immediately look at Jessica (nanny) who was sitting to my right; we both had wide eyes to say the least.
Me: Baby, what do you mean, you want to stay alive?
Rei: I don’t want you to put me down!
Me: Oh no baby…not that kind of put you down! I’m going to L-A-Y you down.
Well, poor Reilly in her sweet little mind was thinking I was going to “put her down” like a sick animal, if she didn’t take her medicine. I guess I should choose words more wisely, as she remembered recently that my sister had to put her dog “down” (to sleep) because he was sick. After I explained the difference, she asked me in a soft little voice, to lay her back down on the couch. Then I sang her “I am a child of God” with a shaky voice & tears in my eyes. I just couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind just minutes before.
She must have been comforted though, because she drifted off to sleep quickly.
Anyway, long story short, when mammy Fisk got to the house to pick up the girls Reilly was curled in the fetal with a blanket saying that she was FREEZING. So, I took her temperature, it was 99.3 so I knew she was sick. Sadly, she just wasn’t feeling up to going so Lyndsey (my sweet angel) went with mammy anyway for some much needed bonding time. No worries, Reilly will get her special day when she is feeling better.
Okay, I’m really trying to be short here… I HAD to drop something off at the armory for daddy Fisk today, so after the big girls left, I scooped Reilly up and put her in the car, and headed out, she puked 5 minutes into the ride. By the time we got back to the house her fever was 102.3 and I was trying to convince her to take some medicine (she HATES medicine more than any kid I know). She wanted me to hold her, so I told her I would hold her if she took the medicine, but otherwise I would put her down.
While holding her and trying to get her to take the Motrin I had premeasured in hand, she just started to sob. I was puzzled, why now? What has got her UPSET now? She then blurts out (in a sobbing-sickly voice) "I JUST WANT TO STAY ALIVE!"
I immediately look at Jessica (nanny) who was sitting to my right; we both had wide eyes to say the least.
Me: Baby, what do you mean, you want to stay alive?
Rei: I don’t want you to put me down!
Me: Oh no baby…not that kind of put you down! I’m going to L-A-Y you down.
Well, poor Reilly in her sweet little mind was thinking I was going to “put her down” like a sick animal, if she didn’t take her medicine. I guess I should choose words more wisely, as she remembered recently that my sister had to put her dog “down” (to sleep) because he was sick. After I explained the difference, she asked me in a soft little voice, to lay her back down on the couch. Then I sang her “I am a child of God” with a shaky voice & tears in my eyes. I just couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind just minutes before.
She must have been comforted though, because she drifted off to sleep quickly.
Monday, September 14, 2009
365 days of____?
Okay, so lately I have been thinking of starting some kind of fun project in an attempt to keep my sanity while Brent is gone. We have all seen those blogs where women use a crock pot every day for 365 days, or do some other cooky deal for a whole year. Well, my bloggin' buddies, I think I'm going to jump on that wagon too! I just need some ideas, legit ideas though, ones that could be fun to blog about too (separate from this blog most likely). I know it sounds silly, but since my husband will be gone, fighting for our freedom for a year I'm starting to feel inadequate. I know, sounds like a pitty party but really...put yourself in my shoes. I would like to do something for the same amount of time that he is gone, so I can think that I too have a "project" if that makes sense.
So far, I have had two ideas that keep coming back in my mind. First, being a weight loss blog...anyone who knows me knows that this is my all time fattest so I think it would be nice to make MYSELF be the "PROJECT" and get hot for my hubby when he comes home. But, then I come back to reality, and my self loathing tendencies return and I think that is a stupid idea.
Secondly, I thought about doing simple nice tasks for complete strangers and then blogging about their reactions. I love helping other people, but then I think for a minute, and realize that I'll already be spread too thin, and that people should be helping the poor lady who's husband is off to war...RIGHT? Yet another stupid idea. :(
Okay...so this blog entry was meant to be short and sweet so I'll stop here. Please, tell me your ideas for my 365 days of _______ project.
P.S. If you wanna call me fat, and agree that I should do the weight loss one, tell me. I won't be offended, or cry (in public) ha ha.
So far, I have had two ideas that keep coming back in my mind. First, being a weight loss blog...anyone who knows me knows that this is my all time fattest so I think it would be nice to make MYSELF be the "PROJECT" and get hot for my hubby when he comes home. But, then I come back to reality, and my self loathing tendencies return and I think that is a stupid idea.
Secondly, I thought about doing simple nice tasks for complete strangers and then blogging about their reactions. I love helping other people, but then I think for a minute, and realize that I'll already be spread too thin, and that people should be helping the poor lady who's husband is off to war...RIGHT? Yet another stupid idea. :(
Okay...so this blog entry was meant to be short and sweet so I'll stop here. Please, tell me your ideas for my 365 days of _______ project.
P.S. If you wanna call me fat, and agree that I should do the weight loss one, tell me. I won't be offended, or cry (in public) ha ha.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
French Furniture
Well, I’m thinking that with this post, I may offend some people so read carefully and slowly. Read the post in it’s entirety before jumping to conclusions and hating me right away. Also, remember to be open minded, and if you have something to share or add…by all means. Bring it on!
Now, with a disclaimer like that, I’m sure you are thinking this is going to be some crazy political or “Right Wing” tangent…but it’s not at all. I’m simply expressing my feelings about a few phrases that are often used incorrectly, and it drives me ABSOLUTELY BANANAS!
First: I hear people say all too often “Oh, I could care less.” Really, you could? In saying that you “COULD care less” you are implying that YOU DO CARE! I believe sir and or ma’am that you intend to use the phrase “I COULD’NT CARE LESS” which would imply that you care so little, you literally couldn’t care any less than you do at the said point in time.
Second (the one that made me start this post all together): I hear everyone these days ending all kinds of sentences with the phrase “and what not.” Seriously people, do we need to end every sentence with this phrase? It makes me so crazy that I NEVER use this phrase (I hereby give you permission to beat me profusely about my head and shoulders if I do). Did you know that a “whatnot” is actually a piece of furniture? It is also a synonym for the word knickknacks, and for et cetera. Although it may have a few different meanings, I don’t think I’ll find the need to and “oh and knickknacks” or “oh and a French piece of furniture” to the end of any of my sentences for crying out loud.
For your enjoyment, I’ve copied the definition of a whatnot from the Encyclopedia (just in case you doubt me)
whatnot
series of open shelves supported by two or four upright posts. The passion for collecting and displaying ornamental objects that began in the 18th century and was widespread in the 19th stimulated the production in England and the United States of this whimsically named piece of furniture. The French version was called the etagere. Some examples contain drawers at the base; others have three sides of the upper shelf surmounted with an ornamental board
*Yes, I did say it is sometimes used in place of et cetera, but I only saw that one place while I was researching and I’m wondering if it was put in there because of the constant use of the phrase in that context. I still don’t like it…so there!
3rd: The last one (for now) has been a big one for me since I was in 5th grade. There isn’t an error that makes me crazier than this one.
Drum roll please……A LOT! Yep, seems simple doesn’t it. Well, my friends. I all too often see it spelled alot (funny because the little red line below the incorrect spelling would tip me off). Alot, is NOT A WORD. It will probably never be one either, but that is just my guess. The way my teacher helped me to remember that a lot is TWO WORDS, is by thinking of a parking lot, you would say it is a lot, not alot, right? Yep…I am. Trust me.
See, that wasn’t too bad, was it? I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I’m just venting some of my peeves on here. And yes, I know I’m not perfect (so close it is scary...but nonetheless, still not perfect), and I probably have my share of grammatical errors in this post alone. I just find that I’m a little moody these days and I had to get that off my chest.
Peace out peeps!
J
Now, with a disclaimer like that, I’m sure you are thinking this is going to be some crazy political or “Right Wing” tangent…but it’s not at all. I’m simply expressing my feelings about a few phrases that are often used incorrectly, and it drives me ABSOLUTELY BANANAS!
First: I hear people say all too often “Oh, I could care less.” Really, you could? In saying that you “COULD care less” you are implying that YOU DO CARE! I believe sir and or ma’am that you intend to use the phrase “I COULD’NT CARE LESS” which would imply that you care so little, you literally couldn’t care any less than you do at the said point in time.
Second (the one that made me start this post all together): I hear everyone these days ending all kinds of sentences with the phrase “and what not.” Seriously people, do we need to end every sentence with this phrase? It makes me so crazy that I NEVER use this phrase (I hereby give you permission to beat me profusely about my head and shoulders if I do). Did you know that a “whatnot” is actually a piece of furniture? It is also a synonym for the word knickknacks, and for et cetera. Although it may have a few different meanings, I don’t think I’ll find the need to and “oh and knickknacks” or “oh and a French piece of furniture” to the end of any of my sentences for crying out loud.
For your enjoyment, I’ve copied the definition of a whatnot from the Encyclopedia (just in case you doubt me)
whatnot
series of open shelves supported by two or four upright posts. The passion for collecting and displaying ornamental objects that began in the 18th century and was widespread in the 19th stimulated the production in England and the United States of this whimsically named piece of furniture. The French version was called the etagere. Some examples contain drawers at the base; others have three sides of the upper shelf surmounted with an ornamental board
*Yes, I did say it is sometimes used in place of et cetera, but I only saw that one place while I was researching and I’m wondering if it was put in there because of the constant use of the phrase in that context. I still don’t like it…so there!
3rd: The last one (for now) has been a big one for me since I was in 5th grade. There isn’t an error that makes me crazier than this one.
Drum roll please……A LOT! Yep, seems simple doesn’t it. Well, my friends. I all too often see it spelled alot (funny because the little red line below the incorrect spelling would tip me off). Alot, is NOT A WORD. It will probably never be one either, but that is just my guess. The way my teacher helped me to remember that a lot is TWO WORDS, is by thinking of a parking lot, you would say it is a lot, not alot, right? Yep…I am. Trust me.
See, that wasn’t too bad, was it? I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I’m just venting some of my peeves on here. And yes, I know I’m not perfect (so close it is scary...but nonetheless, still not perfect), and I probably have my share of grammatical errors in this post alone. I just find that I’m a little moody these days and I had to get that off my chest.
Peace out peeps!
J
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